Part 2
Kinchloe sat behind the radio terminal monitoring all allied communications when a message came in that gave Kelsey and the heroes much to worry about.
“Patch it through. “, Hogan ordered as he put the headset on. “Papa bear responding.”
“Papa bear. “, said the voice on the other end. “Internal crisis. Your guest is to return to home den immediately.” Hogan was confused as to what was going on and asked. “Lone wolf. Please clarify situation. Over.”
Lone Wolf spoke. “Special item that guest has been sent to find has been found but has fallen into enemy hands. Special guest is to return to base immediately to help deal with current crisis.”
Hogan turned to Kelsey who was listening to everything being said. Kelsey sighed and nodded knowing that she had to get back quick. Speaking on the mic again Hogan told Lone wolf. “Understood, will begin making transport arrangements as soon as possible. Papa bear out.” Hogan cut off communications and turned to the Heroes who were sitting nearby.
“All right guys change of plans. “, Hogan said then turned to Kelsey. “We just got a call from London. Apparently someone has made off with this Matrix you’re searching for.”
“WHAT?!”, Kelsey said surprised. “Who?”
“Don’t know. “, Hogan answered. “But they do want you to head back as soon as possible.”
“Uhhh, Colonel. “, Newkirk said. “Not to sound like a party poop or anything like that, but how are we going to do that?”
“Yeah Colonel. “, LeBeau added. “Not to mention that we’ve got to blow up that tunnel later on. We can set the explosives tonight, but we don’t have a good diversion ready.”
Hogan wracked his brain trying to think of something when Wreck-Gar added his own two cents in his own unique way. “Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to Slammin’ Stevie’s Stunt Show Spectacular. Tonight the motorcycle jump of the century!”
“What is that hunk of junk bike saying?”, Kinchloe asked. Everyone else wondered the same thing, but Hogan had his wheels turning.
Hogan thought about it for a moment, nodded and turned to Kelsey. “You know what? Your motorcycle is a certified genius.”
“Uhhh Colonel. What are you talking about?”, Kelsey asked.
“We’re going to put on a little show for Klink and those Killjoys out there. And you and that bike are going to star.” Hogan then began to recite his plan.
In the desert the Triad were laying out their next Sorrero trap as they were about to put a beef burrito in the middle of the road with a sign that said ‘Free burrito: Nice and hot!’ But just as they were about to come to the middle of the road Wile E. Coyote was carrying a plate of his own with a sign that said ‘Stop! Free Bird Seed’ in the middle of the road.
The triad had glared at Wile E. who saw the space as his space. Body bulked up hoping to intimidate Wile E. back. It seemed to be working as Wile. E slid back as Body loomed forward, but then the “Meep! Meep!”, of the Road Runner brought Wile E. back into awareness. He needed to get at that bird and he needed to get at it now.
Taking a stick of dynamite out Wile E. lit it and shoved it in the Triad’s faces. The Triad took some steps back as Wile E. advanced. His body language saying ‘keep out of my path. ‘ But just as Wile E. thought he had the upper hand the fuse reached it’s end, which was not good for Wile E. or the Triad.
The single stick of dynamite exploded in the Triad’s and Wile E’s faces. They were all burnt black by the explosion, and they were all slumped over like old men tired of life.
Standing on a mountain top Sorrero and the Road Runner looked down at the Triad who were chasing Wile E. The Road Runner still had that smile on his face he always did in cartoons. And Sorrero was smiling at the chase below himself.
But as all good things had to end so did Sorrero’s fun with the Road Runner. He had a call from, the Moron Offender saying that Al Snow had the Matrix of Humor all along and Wraith had gone and stole it.
“Well it was fun while it lasted. “, Sorrero said shaking the Road Runner’s wing. “But I’ve got to get going.” Road Runner, feeling he had to say something took out a sign saying “Give Wraith a drop off a cliff for me!” making reference to how many times Wile E. Coyote fell from a cliff landing in a puff of smoke on the ground.
Sorrero smiled and said, “Sure thing buddy. Sure thing.” The Road Runner then let out a “Meep! Meep!”, and was back on the road again. Sorrero made tracks for Al Snow’s place.
Schultz proceeded to round up the prisoners for inspection. Colonel Klink stood presiding.
“Out out everybody out!!” Schultz ordered. When all the prisoners were there Colonel Klink stood to address the men.
“Gentlemen. “, Klink said with a smug attitude. “I’m sure you have all seen the new guards here at Stalag 13. And I’m sure you have questions regarding them. Well go ahead ask away.”
Hogan spoke first faking the role of a scared prisoner. “Yeah Commandant. What are these monsters? I’ve never seen these guards before.”
Klink suddenly became more smug, if that was possible for Klink. “I’m glad you asked that Hogan. And I shall answer that question for you. They are called Killjoys. And they are here to kill the joy out of any one of you that will try to escape from Stalag 13. They shall ensure that this camp remains the escape proof fortress that I have made it out to be under my peak efficiency.”
“Really?”, Newkirk said. “You sure these blokes aren’t here for the girl with her motorcycle in barracks five?” Klink’s eyes grew wide with shock and surprise.
“Girl? motorcycle? Where?”, Klink asked Newkirk. Then, as if on cue, a motorcycle engine echoed through one of the barracks. Klink, Schultz, the guards and the Killjoys turned to where the sound came from and found Kelsey riding Wreck-Gar through the barracade wall at top speed and streak past Klink going right through the gate.
“Schultz! Call out the guards! Pursue that girl!”, Klink ordered hysterically. “Ya voum herr commandant!”, Schultz answered and led the guards to their trucks to go after Kelsey. Klink turned to the Killjoy leader and looked at him meanacingly(well as meanacingly as Klink could-which wasn’t very).
“And you! Why didn’t you stop her? You were supposed to be these super guards. Why didn’t you do anything?”
Hogan walked up to Klink and gave his annoying smile. “Don’t feel bad Commandant. I mean even Superman had his bad days right?”
Klink became really agitated and ordered “All prisoners are confined to the barracks until further notice!” Hogan took the hint and the prisoners walked back to their barracks as Klink looked at the Killjoy leader. “And what are you standing around for? Get after her!”
The Killjoys left as well to go after Kelsey leaving Klink alone in the compound. When he realized this. he immediately went into hiding in his office.
“WOOO HOOO!!!”, Kelsey said as she took Wreck-Gar up to top speed with the wind running through her hair. “You really are one bad motorcycle!”
“Junkions. We take a licking and keep on ticking. “, Wreck-Gar said as they stayed on the path that was leading them to the railroad bridge that they had to get through. Looking back on the rear view mirror Kelsey saw the batallion of Killjoys coming closer but not too close. Kelsey saw to that with her riding.
They soon came up quickly to the tunnel, the Killjoys close behind. “The million dollar question is ‘Are you ready?!’
Kelsey, upon seeing the tunnel ahead and the Killjoys behind realized there was no going back. “Let’s do it!”, Kelsey said.
Kelsey rode Wreck-Gar into the tunnel with Wreck-Gar echoing “Is that you’re final answer?” into the tunnel. The Killjoys quick to follow but were unprepared for what happened next.
Two seconds after the Killjoys went in the tunnel exploded. Parts of Killjoys flew out of the shaft bevore it caved in. No traces were found of Kelsey or Wreck-Gar.
But then again there weren’t supposed to be.
Klink, Schultz and the guards heard the boom and right away knew that the ‘super soldiers’ General Burkhalter sent had been blown to pieces. Even though he had guards sent to check remains Klink knew the Killjoys were gone. It was only how his luck ran-never good enough to advance in rank, but never bad enough to be court-martialed, shot, and sent to the Russian Front either.
“Boy she sure does go out with a bang huh commandant?”, Hogan said patting Klink’s shoulder. “And what about those new guards too?” Klink was annoyed by the gesture, and he didn’t like the situation or Hogan’s comments either.
“Return to the barracks! DIS-missed!”, Klink ordered and Hogan’s heroes went back into their quarters as if it wasn’t any bother. Once again Hogan got the last laugh, as he usually does on the show.
“YOU MEAN IT WAS HERE ALL ALONG?!!!”, Kai shouted to Al Snow. “AND WRAITH WAS ABLE TO FIND IT BECAUSE SHE WATCHED LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS?! ARE YOU NUTS OR SOMETHING?!!!!
Sorrero tapped Kai’s shoulder and gave a look that said ‘you really want him to answer that?’. Kai took the hint and backed off from Al. “You must have been listening to that mannequin head for to long to come up with that lame idea. “, he said as he went back to the two girls that came with him from she show Mirinoi Vice. Damon had two girls of his own with him and couldn’t wait to show them a good time. But first…”
“All right troops!”, Al said carrying Head and himself dressed like General Patton. He held a riding crop in his left hand as it served as his pointer.
Al slapped the pointer on a map at a spot which was Wraith’s lair. “This is Wraith’s lair. “, Al said. “It has been heavily fortified and it has a crack security system.”
“Which means we can walk in and we won’t be busted until we get to the spot where the Matrix is. “, Poindexter answered.
“Right. “, Al said. “Unless there are traps which will be used to heighten dramatic conflict. But I think this will be quick since there are probably better stories to tell than ours. This… “, Al pointed to another area “Is the local McDonalds. Before we storm Wraith’s lair I want to have lunch first. I have a craving for a Big Mac Attack. Any questions?”
Greenie raised his hand first. “Yeah, Is Wraith’s lair an hour away from the McDonalds? Because I don’t think we should be fighting until after an hour before mealtime.” Kai rolled his eyes not believing he was in a room full of morons.
“Yes, it is a ways away. Next?”
“Where are Adam and Tanya?”, Kai asked, deciding to get in a sensible question.
“They are running late in the Cannonball and will catch up presently. “, Al answered. “Next?”
“Why is the sky blue?”, Poindexter asked.
“Because if it was green, we couldn’t tell it apart from the lawn. Next?”
“Whatarelikethehottestbargainsinthisdimension?”, was Prancer’s question.
“Lazarus Department stores. Next?”
“Can we get going now?”, Kelsey asked.
Al nodded and soon the troops Al had: Kai, Damon, Prancer, Poindexter, Bretta, Greenie, Sorrero, Kelsey and Wreck-Gar walked out of Al’s home with Al taking the lead. Head was under his left arm.
“Onward ranger soldiers!”, Al sung as he parodied ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’. Sorrero turned to Kelsey who was riding Wreck-Gar again as Sorrero rode his Harley and said, “We are so dead.”
“Tell me about it. “, Kelsey agreed. “We’re marching to an evil villian’s house, following the lead of a moron. How crazy is that?”
“Very. “, Sorrero said. “But not as crazy as this.” He took Kelsey’s hand and asked, “Would you like to go out tonight?”
Kelsey was taken aback by Sorrero’s question. “You are asking me out?”
“Yeah. “, Sorrero said with modesty. “I don’t get out that much and I saw a pretty girl like you. I was wondering… if maybe… you’d… like to spend time… with a weirdo like me.”
Kelsey looked at Sorrero and smiled. “Sure why not. We crazies have to stick together.”
Sorrero and Kelsey continued to ride as Al Snow led the charge to Wraith’s lair.
The music of the WWF wrestlers known as the Bushwackers filled the room as Luke and Butch walked in doing their Bushwacker march as Brachian, the Triad and Elgar(without Weirdwolf) carried in the prize Wraith sought, the Matrix of Humor.
Wraith looked as giddy as a schoolgirl as Elgar, Brachian, and the Triad were breaking their backs lugging the Matrix in. “Explain to me why we’re doing this without Weirdwolf again?”, Brachian asked Elgar.
“Uhhh… because Wraith told us to?”. Elgar answered. “That seems to be as good a reason as any.”
Brachian just shook his head in a ‘why’d I even bother’ fashion as they lugged the Matrix in and as Wraith’s two security guards, the Bushwackers came up to her throne.
“Whoa!”, Luke shouted.
“Yeahhhh!”, shouted Butch as both Bushwhackers then licked Wraith’s head like a lollypop.
“EEEEWWWWWW!”, Wraith screamed. “You heathans are so disgusting!”
“Ohhh but that’s what makes us so much fun. Ain’t that right cousin Luke?”, Butch asked his fellow Bushwacker.
“You said it cousin Butch. Here missy have some sardines!”, Luke brought the smelly fish to Wraith’s nose and immediately curled it because of the stench.
“I don’t want sardines!”, Wraith said.
“Awwww but try them you’ll like them!”, the Bushwhackers then rubeed the whole can in her face and Wraith turned away.
“Cousin Butch. I don’t think the lady wants Sardines!”, Luke said.
“Well Cousin Luke, in that case…. “, Luke and Butch then dumped their cans on Wraith, and she screamed as dead fish and fish oil covered her. Brachian couldn’t help but chuckle at Wraith’s predicament as she was brought down to the ground by two Bushwhackers and smelly fish.
“YOU TWO ARE FIRED!!!!”, Wraith screamed as her dress reeked of sardine smell and the smelly fish stained her outfit. “I’m getting better security!”
“Hey no problem. “, Luke said. “We’re on our way to Wrestlemania X-Seven to compete in a Gimmick Battle Royal! Yeahhhh!” Soon both Bushwhackers walked out doing their Bushwhacker march as they left.
Wraith snapped her fingers and she was cleaned up in an instant. Now where were we? Oh yes. Better security.”
Moldar then enterered with Winston. “Your new security force has arrived my queen. Along with your new housekeepers. “, Moldar said.
“Sadly we had to look in an alternate reality to find them, but they are just what you asked for. “, Winston added.
“Well bring them in! Bring them in!”, Wraith said giddy as a schoolgirl. In came five monsters that looked like a cross between human and animal with only two maintaining something of a semblance of humanity.
“Sound off!”, the monster with big round boobs and a big round butt called out.
“Shopincredit Melter!”, said the monster in a pink designer jacket with white vest, pink shirt, black pants and five pink purses wearing a beehive hairdoo.
“Stinkin Striper!”, called the monster that looked like a giant skunk in a white skirt and green shirt.
“Horney Porkey!”, said the fat pig with a blonde afro. She had black pants and a blue sweater and sounded Austrailian.
“Mootiful Stranger!”, shouted a monster who was little more than a fat female cow.
“And I’m Brittney Spheres!”, said the big boob, big butted all american girl monster. Clearly the leader of the group.
“We are the Divettes!”, they all shouted together. “And we’re going to change the world!”
Brachian just stood off to the side not impressed. “Hmmmph. Monsters? Why should I be impressed?”
Mind then stepped forward and opened a telepathic communication to his leader. Mind showed Brachian the telepathic imprints he had picked up, which were of five teenaged girls who had formed a girl band to enter a ‘battle of the bands’ contest. Divatox tampered with their make-up cases and that made them transform into the monsters they were now.
Brachian also remembered the girls and who they were. Shopincredit Melter was Kimberly Hart. Horney Porkey was Katherine Hillard, Mootiful Stranger was Ashley Hammond, Stinkin Striper was Tanya Sloane, and Brittney Spheres was Cassie Chan. All the girls were banging on the walls of their mind screaming to be let out, but no one was heeding their words.
“Divatox made monsters out of female rangers?”, Brachion said surprised.
“Well in several worlds. “, Wraith said. “I had to get these ‘ladies’ from an alternate reality.
“Still, it is a most evil plan your highness. “, Jinxer said. “The rangers can’t fight against their own kind.”
“Yes. Isn’t it?”, Wraith said. “Now where’s my cleaning crew?”
As if on cue, the cleaning crew entered the main chamber. One was a long haired American Indian. Another was a short sailer. The third was an Asian motorcycle cop. The fourth was a hispanic biker in leather, and the fifth was an African-American construction worker.
“You got the Village People as your cleaning crew?”, Elgar asked Wraith, unaware that there was more to the cleaning crew that met the eye as well.
“Wow they must be desperate for gigs. “, Elgar later added.
Al Snow sat with the other rangers in one of the outside tables at the Parody Dimension McDonalds(I know. It seems like you can find one anywhere nowadays doesn’t it?) as they discussed their battle strategy.
“So fearless leader. “, Kai said. “What’s the game plan?”
Al was about to say that when a fast car pulled into the parking lot as Al was getting ready to speak. The driver got out and was revealed to be Point Blank, along with his floozy of the day-a woman is a pink sequened mini-skirt on her way to Vegas. Or what passes for it in the Parody Dimension.
Al saw Point Blank and gave him the customary secret agent greeting. “Good afternoon Mr. Blank. “, Al said in his best ‘Bond villian’ voice.
Point Blank then took out a cigarette and tear gas seemed to come out of it hitting Al in the face. “Oh, so sorry. “, Point Blank said. “When someone introduces me like that I naturally go for the tear gas smokes.”
“No problem Point. No problem. “, Al said waving the deadly gas away. “So, how’d the race go?”
“Some chimp driving a limo won. Again!”, Point was not at all happy about what had happened and sat at the lunch table all pouty. Then Getaway and Slapdash drove on up. The engines transformed off and Adam and Tanya appeared. Their friends J. J. , Victor, Jackie and Jaws getting out of the vehicles as they transformed into their robot modes.
“Hey guys. What’s up?”, Tanya asked. Adam went to the counter and ordered forty Big Mac combo meals for himself and Tanya. J. J. , Victor, Jackie and Jaws introduced themselves, but Point Blank seemed to know Jaws already.
“We’re competitors. “, Jaws said. “I’ve worked for some of the bosses he’s had to stop.”
Adam came back to the table and asked what the plan was. Damon answered with, “Are you sure you want to know?”
Sorrero then answered. “The esteemed General Snow here says we’re just going to walk in and grab it.” Adam’s jaw dropped clear to the floor. “Are you nuts? That makes no sense!”
“Hello McFly!”, Poindexter said knocking on Adam’s head. “This is the Parody Dimension. Nothing here makes sense!”
“Which only makes more sense now that you think about it. “, Sorrero added. “You guys think you’ll need some Night back up?”
“You sure that power of yours will work here?”, Greenie asked. “This is supposed to be a fun world you know.”
“Hey, from what Kincaid said people are scared of Night Rangers. No matter what world they’re from.” Sorrero seemed confident that he could help the Blunder Rangers in their quest.
“Yeah well, Adam and I have to wait for our meals to get done. I think we’ll stay here and wait for you guys. “, Tanya said. Kai and Damon decided to stay too.
“Aww why not. “, Kelsey said waiving her hands. “We crazies have to stick together right?”
“The band is back together again!”, Wreck-Gar said reciting a T. V. line from WCW wrestling when they tried to reform the NWO for the second time.
“Well then!”, Al said adressing his team before they left. “All I have to say is… good luck and may all the bad guys become possessed by the spirit of Buster Keaton.” No one knew who Buster Keaton, the pratfall comic of early American cinema, was but they returned Al’s blessing with a salute before departing.
The Blunder Rangers, Sorrero, Kelsey, and Wreck-Gar then left to carry out Al Snow’s insane plan. But then, he was an insane guy and the rangers were in an insane world so everything seemed to make sense.
We’ve been here too long!, Kai thought starting to feel the wackiness get to him.
The Blunder Rangers, Sorrero, Kelsey and Wreck-Gar all arrived at the site of Wraith’s home. Bretta was the one in charge so all of them followed her lead. “So what do we do?”, Greenie asked.
Bretta thought for a moment and decided on the first course of action. “Well morph for one thing.” The rangers present decided that would be a good start.
“It’s Morphin time!”, Bretta shouted.
“NERD RANGER POWER!”
“GEEK RANGER POWER!”
“POW RANGER POWER!”
“COYOTENIGHT!”
“LIGHTSPEED RESCUE!”
“FASHION EMERGENCY!”
Soon the Blunder Rangers, Sorrero and Kelsey stood morphed. Kelsey then asked, “Okay Fearless Leader now what?”
Bretta then suddenly went into an impression of ‘Fearless Leader’-played by Robert DeNiro in ‘the adventures of Rocky and Bullinkle’ movie. “Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?”
Kelsey then answered, “I must be, you’re the only one here.” completing the joke. “Now let’s get in there.”
Bretta nodded and said, “Okay, Sorrero, can you do that ‘Earthquake’ thing of yours and shake down the security systems?”
“Sure. “, Sorrero answered as he called upon the primal forces of Earth and caused the ground to tremble and shake. Bretta looked in through her ranger goggles and saw equipment falling from the ceiling, laser tripwires being tripped and become unstable, and basically clearing the path for the Blunder Rangers to walk on in.
“Well, shall we go on in?”, Bretta said. Her entorage were ready to go, and they walked into the lair without incident. The journey inside continued to go uninterrupted when Kelsey mentioned, “Geez! When Indiana Jones went to get the Idol in ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ he had more to deal with than we do.”
“Yeahlikethisissooooooboring. “, Prancer said. But they all came to the Matrix which seemed to be standing in the center of the main room practically begging to be taken. Bretta looked up at Wreck-Gar and sarcastically asked the Junkion, “Aren’t you gonna go get it?”
“Awww gee Wally, I don’t see why I gotta do all the heavy lifting. “, the Junkion said sounding like Beaver from ‘Leave it to Beaver’.
Because you’re big enough to carry the thing. “, Poindexter said as if stating the obvious. “Now, you are here and the Matrix is there.” Poindexter pointed to where Wreck-Gar was standing then to where the Matrix was sitting. “So what are you waiting for? GO GET IT!!!”
Wreck-Gar just stomped on over and grabbed the Matrix from the podium. “All right let’s blow this joint!”, Bretta shouted once Wreck-Gar got it.
Wreck-Gar was about to turn away when a shout of “SURPRISE!!!”, filled the room as if the rangers were at a surprise party. Coming out of the woodwork were Wraith, Moldar, Winston, Kegler, Jinxer, Brachian, and the Triad. Standing in the doorway leading outside were the Divettes.
“WRAITH!”, Bretta shouted. “Get out of our way or we’ll mow you down like roadkill.”
“Oh I think my friends will have something to say about that!”, Wraith said. “Rangers, meet the Divettes!” The five monsters, Horney Porkey, Mootiful Stranger, Stinkin Striper, Shoppincredit Melter, and Brittney Spheres stepped forward after Wraith’s intro.
“Sound off!”, Brittney Spheres said as she and the Divettes introduced themselves again. Then the Village People cleaning crew came forward and the indian said “Let our friends go!!!”
The rangers looked at the Village People and recognized them. “Tommy? T. J. ? Justin? Adam? Jason?”
“We’ll explain later”, Jason said. Everyone looked at the five male rangers and knew this explanation would be worth hearing.
“Oh dear!”, Bretta said dramatically mocking the Divettes. “Five monsters and no megazord. Whatever shall we do?” She cast a look at the newest Blunder Ranger Prancer Dancer, and right away Prancer knew what to do. Smiling under her helmet she called forth her zord.
“WE LIKE NEED SHOPPERZORD POWER LIKE NOW!!!”
The Shopperzord flew out and landed outside Wraith’s lair. Prancer charged out past the Divettes who gave chase. Wraith saw to it that they grew when they were outside, and soon it looked like a five on one with the Divettes vs. the Shopperzord.
“This ought to be good. “, Stinky Striper said.
“Yooooou know?”, Mootiful Stranger said. “Let’s have her make the first move. It’ll make what we do all the more fun.” The Divettes agreed and waited for Prancer to attack first.
Prancer smiled as she brought the Shopperzord forward and waved its shopping bags like crazy. The Zord hit the monsters with its bags so many times they couldn’t handle the assault and reverted back to normal size. Even Shoppincredit Melter was powerless before Prancer’s Shopperzord, since she couldn’t use her purses or charge cards to defeat it.
Wraith looked on saddened by the Divettes defeat. “No Problem, I’ve got another idea.” After snapping her fingers Monster Bretta showed up and Wraith took her and pointed her towards the Blunder Rangers, Village Rangers, Sorrerro, Kelsey and Wreck-Gar. “Look Bretta, Males!”
Monster Bretta then sniffed the air in their direction picking up the scent of that she hated most and charged at them screaming “MALES!!!!”
“All right people!”, Bretta ordered. “Make like bananas and split!” Soon the Blunder Rangers, Sorrero, Kelsey, Wreck-Gar and the Villiage Rangers rode or ran away from Wraith’s lair, and Monster Bretta’s wrath, leaving Wraith behind screaming “GET THAT MATRIX BACK HERE!!!!!”
All the monsters, mutants and henchmen followed the madwoman’s order. They had to with the tone of voice she used. Monster Bretta hit her head in a wall and fell unconscious.
Kai, Damon, Adam, and Tanya all waited with Al Snow and their racing friends from the Cannonball when the Matrix rescue party rode on in. “Hey Al, Catch!”, Bretta called to Al who tossed the Matrix to him, and was thrown down by it’s weight.
“Well we’ve got the Matrix!”, Al said lifting it up like Atlas held the world on his shoulders.
“Yeah but what about them?”, Kelsey asked as she pointed to the Divettes, Weirdwolf, and the Triad in pursuit. Bretta quickly called into the communicator and asked Gordon for help.
“Gordon we need the…. thing that busts the bad guys. You know what I’m talking about, but I just don’t want to say that long name.”
Back at the Funhouse Gordon was so stoned out of his mind he could have gone interdimensional right from his fish bowl. Hell, his mind was already in another dimension from the stash he scored.
“Aiyiyiyiyiyiyiiyiyiyiyi!”, Dalpha 5 said. “I’m sorry rangers but Gordon sold it to pay off some bookies. Whatever left over money he had he used to get weed. He’s stoned rangers!”
Kelsey then had an idea and asked, “Dalpha, does Gordon have any of his stash left?”
“Aiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!!! He’s got some Kelsey, but what are you planning?”
Kelsey then threw a mischevous smile as she cast her eyes across the street. “Have you ever seen the movie Cheech and Chong Up in Smoke?”
“Oh you saw that film? I liked that one!”, Sorrero commented, then the idea hit him as to what Kelsey had in mind. “You’re not thinking…”
The Triad and Divettes came up to the outdoor McDonalds table and Brittney Spheres demanded that the Matrix of humor be turned over to her.
Brittney stepped forward before Brachion could get in a word in edgewise. “I’m the All-American Girl. I should speak first.” Brachion stepped back and allowed Brittney to say her peace.
“All right Rangers. Give me the Matrix now!”, Brittney demanded. None of them seemed bothered by Brittney’s demand.
“GIMME MY MATRIX NOW!!!”, Brittney shouted. Wraith, who was standing behind her shouted, “YOUR MATRIX? IT’S MY MATRIX!!!”
“Mine, if I find it first. “, Brittney challenged.
“No mine forever!”, shouted Wraith.
“Mine!, shouted Brittney.
“Mine!”, shouted Wraith and they soon found themselves in a catfight with Brachion and the other bad guys surrounding them placing bets and screaming for bets to be placed. This allowed everyone to slip past towards the theatre across the street.
Horney Porky saw the rangers slip by and shouted, “They’re getting away!” Brittney got back up and shouted “Charge!”
The Divettes and other villians ran in after Kelsey and company, unaware that what was about to happen would change the Divettes forever. And in their case that was an improvement.
Wraith, Moldar, Winston, Kegler, Jinxer, Brachian, the Triad , Elgar and the Divettes all looked around the main gallery of the strange theatre for any sign of the rangers or the matrix of humor. “Keep your eyes open!”, Wraith ordered. “Those rangers could be anywhere.”
“Yeah. “, agreed Brittney. “And they still have my matrix!”
“YOUR MATRIX?!!”, Wraith screamed as she and Brittney went at it again. Off to the side at the concession stand, Tom Cat and Sylvester saw the catfight and decided to place a little wager.
“Twenty five catnipth on Wraith!”, Sylvester offered. Tom decided to go thirty-five on Brittney.
“Ohhh you drive a hard bargain. “, Tom nodded as they watched the catfight continue. Brittney was grabbing Wraith by the hair, much to the delight of her fellow Divettes when she heard a voice call for her.
“HEY BRITTNEY!!!”, T. J. called. “You and your friends shop at Wal-Mart!”
Shoppincredit Melter seemed to steam out of her joints after hearing that insult. The other Divettes weren’t too happy either. “TAKE THAT BACK!!!”, Shoppincredit Melter shouted. “WE’RE CLASSY SHOPPERS!!!”
“Yoooouuuu said it”, Mootiful Stranger said.
“Really?”, Tommy said. “Then why does your sweaters say $12. 95 at Wal-mart?”
The Divettes furiously charged after the Villiage Rangers while the Blunder Rangers, Kelsey, Sorrero and Point Blank led the other villians down to a separate stage. Adam, Tanya, J. J. , Victor, Jackie and Jaws led Elgar, Jinxer, Kegler and the Killjoys down another hall which led outside the theater. Kai and Damon tried to follow but were sidetracked by a poster that previewed Episode II of Star Wars, and were forgotten about. When the Divettes saw the Village Rangers duck into the stage door they immediately charged in after them.
Al Snow went to the concession stand and ordered two buckets of popcorn for him and ‘Head’. “I’m looking forward to a good show. “, Al said.
Kelsey and company managed to dissapear into a dressing room where they stayed waiting for Dalpha to arrive with Gordon’s stash(or what was left of it) when a knock was heard at the door.
“Who is it?”, Bretta asked.
“It’s me Dalpha, open up, I got the stuff.”
The Blunder Rangers didn’t answer and went back into waiting when the knock happened again. This time Poindexter answered. “Who is it?”
“It’s me Dalpha, man, open up I got the stuff.”
“Who?”, Sorrero asked getting in on the routine.
“It’s Dalpha, open up I think Wraith saw me come in here.”
The Blunder Rangers didn’t answer again, and the door knocked again.
“Who is it?”, Greenie asked this time.
Dalpha was getting a little mad on the other side. “It’s, it’s Dalpha!! Will you open up I got the stuff with me.”
“Who?”, Kelsey then asked seeming to catch the Cheech and Chong routine.
“It’s Dalpha!!! Aiyiyiyiyi open up!”
“Dalpha?”, Point Blank asked.
“Yeah Dalpha! Come on guys open up I think Wraith saw me come in here!”
Finally the Blunder Rangers, Kelsey, Sorrero and Point Blank gave the classic line that ended the old Cheech and Chong comedy bit, but was slightly altered in a way to fit the mood. In unison they said, “DALPHA’S NOT HERE!!!”
They took another humorous pause when the door knocked harder this time and more frantically. This time Prancer answered “Yeahlikewhoisit?”
“Aiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Open up the door it’s Dalpha!!!”
“Who?”, Prancer asked.
“DALPHA!!! D-A-L-P-H-A!!!!WILL YOU OPEN THE MORPHIN DOOR?!!!!”
“DALPHA?”, Bretta answered.
“YEAH DALPHA!”
“DALPHA?!”, yelled Sorrero.
“Aiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! Yes Dalpha. Now will you open the door?”
One more time the Blunder Rangers, Kelsey, Sorrero and Point Blank smiled amongst themselves. And again they gave the classic line that ended the Cheech and Chong ‘Dave’ bit. Only this time it was Dalpha instead of Dave.
“DALPHA’S NOT HERE!!!!!”
The rangers soon found themselves laughing hysterically again when the knock on the door came again. Poindexter recovered first and immediately asked “Who is it?” again.
This time the answer was, “It’s me Dave open up man I got the stuff!”
This time the door opened and Dalpha was invited in. “Why Dave it’s so good to see you!”, Kelsey said smiling. Dalpha tried to take it all in stride but it was hard for the little android, especially since he was holding two bags of marijuanna. “Have you got the stuff?”
“Aiyiyiyiyiiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!!!”, Dalpha screamed like he was about to have a seizure. “I told you I got the stuff. Here it is!!!” Dalpha then plopped the bags down on the ground and walked out of the room. “Hey Dalpha where are you going?”, Greenie asked.
“Android’s union number 42106. I am entitled to one coffee break per hour. I’m taking it now! I CAN’T HANDLE THE AGGRIVATION!!!! AIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!!!!!” Dalpha then stormed out of the dressing room while the Blunder Rangers looked on at the bags of weed before them.
“Wow I never thought Gordon smoked this much weed.” Poindexter said.
“Yeah well. It looks like this will help us right now. “, Kelsey said then gave a smile. “It’s time to share the wealth.”
The Divettes were in hot pursuit of the Village Rangers as they rounded the hall making sure they were well in sight. “You sure this is going to work Tommy?”, Carlos asked almost out of breath.
“It’s like the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. “, Tommy said between gasps. “If we can pull this off like that idiot Al Snow said we should do, then the girls should be freed.”
“They’d better. We’re practically advertising the antidote right now!”, Justin commented looking down at his sailor suit.
“It will Justin. It will. “, T. J. said reassuringly. Soon they came across the stage door they were using and Adam talked to the guard. “Ummm excuse me sir we’ve got some monsters after us. Could you do us a favor?”
“Have you found them yet?”, Brittney asked Shoppincredit Melter. Shoppincredit sniffed her bargain sniffing nose into the air trying to get the scent on the Village Rangers again, but to no avail.
“I can’t find anything. “, Shoppincredit complained. “Stinkin Striper’s stink is stowing my sense of smell.”
“Well if you hadn’t decided to go googoo eyed at that sweater we may just have those rangers now. “, Stinkin Striper said. The two monsters were about to chew each other out when Brittney Spheres broke up the commotion. “Now let’s go find those Village Rangers!”
The other Divettes nodded unaware of the voices starting to laugh in the back of their minds. Each one thinking the same thing. Oh god. I can’t believe they’re doing that!
Finally they came to the door where the security guard was at. He graciously pointed to the stage and said “Your young men went that way!”
“Thanks dude!”, Brittney said as the Divettes went into the auditorium. The guard then locked the door behind them and left counting the money T. J. had bribed him with.
Inside the stage the Divettes realized that they may have been conned. Horney Porkey tried to fiddle with the door they went in only to find it locked. “The door is locked!”, Horney Porkey said amidst a heard of fans… most of them male. “What do we do now?”
“Call Monster Bretta and have her charge down the joint?”, Stinkin Stripper said.
“Charge? Did someone say charge?”, Shoppincredit Melter said. It was then that the stage lights came on and the next act was on stage. “Ladies and Gentlemen… The Village Rangers!!!”
At the announcer’s cue, T. J. , Tommy, Carlos, Adam, and Justin walked out on stage. Tommy was the indian, Justin was the sailor, Carlos was the biker, T. J. was dressed as the Construction Worker, and Adam was the Motorcycle cop.
Disco music filled the air as the Village Rangers took their positions on the stage ready to do their number to a wild male crowd. Inside the minds of the Divettes the laughter just kept growing louder and louder.
Young man, there’s no need to feel down
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground
I said, young man, ’cause you’re in a new town
There’s no need to be unhappy
Young man, there’s a place you can go
I said, young man, when you’re short on your dough
You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time
They then proceeded into the next part of the number ready to do the letters that came with it. And while the Divettes looked on, their laughter in the back of their heads grew. It was only a slight irritation to them, but they paid it no mind.
How little they knew what a little laughter could accomplish.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
You can get yourself clean
You can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel
The Village Rangers continued to sing as they danced the way the Village People did. In the Divettes’ minds the laughter grew louder and louder as their constitutions were starting to waver as smiles started to crack on their faces.
Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams,
But you’ve got to know this one thing
No man, does it all by himself
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf
And just go there, to the Y. M. C. A.
I’m sure they can help you today
All the rangers then did thrusts on the stage which got a “Justin!”, from Carlos. Justin just shrugged and the rangers continued to do the number.
Little did they know that the Divettes were chuckling at the sight.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
You can get yourself clean
You can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel
Tommy caught sight of the Divettes trying to keep their stomachs in as they tried to hold back their laughter. The girls are breaking through., he thought. Time for the big finish.
Young man, I was once in your shoes.
I said I was, down and out with the blues
I felt, no man cared if I were alive
I felt the whole world was so jive
That’s when comeone came up to me
And said young man take a walk up the street
There’s a place there called the Y. M. C. A.
They can start you back on your way
The Village Rangers saw the resolve in the Divettes start to waver as chuckles started to escape from them. “All right guys, BIG FINISH!!!”, Tommy yelled.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
They have everything for young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.
Y. M. C. A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A.
Young man, young man, there’s no need to feel down.
Young man, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
Y. M. C. A.
just go to the Y. M. C. A.
Young man, young man, I was once in your shoes.
Young man, young man, I was out with the blues.
Y. M. C. A.
Y. M. C. A.
Y. M. C. A.
Y. M. C. A.
Finally the Divettes could hold it in no longer. They were so taken aback by the stupidity they just saw that the voices in the back of their heads could be silent no longer.
They all exploded in loud long laughter. The longer they laughed the more the resolve of the Divettes broke, and soon five gusts of smoke were expelled from the Divettes leaving five teenaged girls behind. All normal looking, and all laughing like crazy.
“Kat are you okay?”, Tommy the indian said after he made his way through the wild male crowd to where the hysterical blonde girl in pink laughed uncontrollably. The other four girls Kimberly Hart, Ashley Hammond, Tanya Sloane and Cassie Chan also laughed like mental patients.
The men in the audience seemed heartbroken though and walked out the exit doors of the stage. The Village Rangers and their girlfriends were left behind. And the girls still laughed like they had OD’d on laughing gas.
“I can’t believe you guys did something so stupid!”, Cassie said between laughs.
“Yeah, don’t you have any dignity?”, Tanya asked. Adam, T. J. Carlos and Tommy couldn’t help but look down at the five ranger girls as Adam said, “When it comes to saving the ones we love, we would degrade ourselves no end.”
“Besides it was Al Snow’s idea. “, Justin said. “He said if we made the Divettes laugh hard enough they’d lose control and be expelled from you.” The girls paused for a second to let all that had happened to them sink in, then Ashley cleared the silence.
“You know what they say. “, Ashley said. “Laughter is the best medicine!” And soon everyone started laughing. Then the Turbo Rangers left to see how their friends were doing.
“Speaking of laughter. I wonder how Kelsey’s doing. “, Carlos wondered.
Kelsey and Bretta were busy putting Gordon’s weed into the air furnace. “You sure this will work?”, Kelsey asked Bretta.
“Poindexter says it will. “, Bretta answered. “And I’ve never known him to be wrong about anything… well 9 times out of ten.” Kelsey hoped that this was one of the 9 times.
“It’ll work!”, Poindexter said. “The heater will burn the weed and send it out to the air filters. Wraith will inhale it and we sneak out.”
“Andshe’llbelikesooooototallystonedtoo!”, Prancer added as she got the joke. “Butwhowilllikedothesinging?”
“Oh don’t worry. “, Sorrero said volunteering. “I know this bit. I always wanted to do it.”
“Hey can I do it with you?”, Kelsey asked. “I’m kind of fond of the song myself. That and I also LOVE Cheech and Chong!”
“So I’ve noticed. “, Dalpha commented. “Dalpha’s not here. Yeah right!”
“You know I think he’s cross. “, Bretta said taking notice of Dalpha’s attitude.
“Cross? CROSS? Cross doesn’t begin to cover it. “, Dalpha then went on a major rant fest that just seemed like random words strung together with plenty of “Aiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi”‘s put in fo good measure. Having enough Poindexter activated Dalpha’s teleporter and sent him…. . anywhere but where they were.
After thanking Poindexter Sorrero stood ready to go. “I’m ready for my close up Mr. Deville. “, he said dramatically. Everyone looked at Sorrero’s attire of his black jacket and pants with green t-shirt and shook their heads as if saying ‘No you’re not’.
“You’re missing something. “, Kelsey said as she pulled out a pink tutu and Sorrero…. well.
“I GET TO WEAR THE TUTU??!!!!”, he exclaimed as if he was getting his favorite ice cream flavor.
A flash of light appeared in the desert as Dalpha materialized in mid air. He seemed to be suspended for a brief second until he looked down, then he waved bye-bye as gravity suddenly took effect.
As Dalpha fell he passed Wile E. Coyote who was standing on a ledge looking down as Dalpha fell. Wile E. passed a sign along to Dalpha that said ‘Don’t worry it gets easier with practice’. Dalpha silently thanked him as he fell to the ground and landed in a puff of smoke like Wile E. did so many times in the past. Dalpha was more or less intact but he was still upset over the fall the Blunder Rangers sent him on.
“Aiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi! I get no respect! No respect at all!”, Dalpha said sounding a lot like Rodney Dangerfield.
Wraith walked into the audience area flanked by Moldar and Winston. Brachian and the Triad brought up the rear. “All right where are they?”, Wraith asked.
“I don’t see them my queen!”, Moldar said as he was scanning the audience. He did feel a prick from his back, only to find one of the headbangers in the audience took a bouquet of flowers that was growing from his back and the headbanger gave them to his girlfriend.
“Winston. Break out the weed killers when we get home.” Winston made note of the request and they continued to seek out the Blunder Rangers.
“Have you found anything yet?”, Wraith asked Brachian who was looking with his Triad. Brachian said no and Wraith threatened, “If you don’t find them I swear it’s the Flash Gordon torture again!”
Then suddenly stage lights came on as the Blunder Rangers came out with Kelsey taking the lead and Sorrero following behind. He was still in his black jacket and green t-shirt, but he wore the pink tutu in place of his black pants. He could hear the chuckles of the audience as he came out, and one woman yelling “That’s them. GET THEM!!!”, in the crowd.
Then suddenly smoke filled the air which everyone, including Wraith and her crew started to inhale. Sorrero, Kelsey and the Blunder Rangers soon found themselves inhaling the smoke too, and then everyone was as high as a kite. When everyone was stoned the Blunder Rangers all took band positions with Bretta on drums, Poindexter on keyboards and Greenie on bass. Prancer came on in a skimpy outfit and filled the role of go-go girl.
Kelsey and Sorrero grabbed guitars and then went into a wild guitar riff as they sang ‘Earache my Eye’, by Cheech and Chong to the stoned out audience. The Blunder Rangers started playing too while Prancer was shaking her booty dancing to the music.
My momma talkin to me tryin’ to tell me how to live
But I don’t listen to her ’cause my head is like a sieve
My daddy, he disowned me cause I wear my sister’s clothes
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose.
Sorrero lifted his leg up into the air as if showing weere the pantyhose would go if he wore any, then continued to play like a stoned out maniac, which thanks to the doped up smoke he was.
But then, so was everyone else in the room. Including Wraith.
My basketball coach, he done kick me off the team
For wearin’ high heel sneakers and actin’ like a queen.
Prancer shook her booty so hard the male fans were going crazy. All the Blunder Rangers were giving their effort despite being stoned as the song went into it’s final verse.
The whole world’s comin to an end, and I don’t even care
As long as I have my limo and my orange hair
And it don’t bother me if people think I’m “funny”
‘Cause I’m a big rock star and I’m makin lots of money, money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
“I’m so bloddy rich!”, Sorrero laughed.
“I own apartment buildings and shopping centers!”, Kelsey later added.
“And we only know three chords!”, they both said and laughed together.
The whole audience was as stoned as the entertainment as their drug addled minds applauded the end of the act. Point Blank put on a gas mask then ran out and escorted Kelsey, Sorrero and the Blunder Rangers off the stage. When they were in a fresh pocket of air Point took off the gas mask and held up his hand in front of Kelsey’s face. “Miss Winslow. How many fingers am I holdiing up?”
Kelsey just giggled at Point’s question but she looked at him dead on. “Uhhh why are there three of you?”. She then laughed going back into her drug induced stupor along with the rest of the Blunder Rangers.
It wasn’t long before the Turbo Rangers along with Kat, Kim, Tanya, Adam and Tommmy walked around the corner still laughing at what the male rangers had to do to free the ranger girls from the Divettes spell. Point Blank saw tham and immediately got worried. “Oh no. Don’t tell me you’re stoned too.”
“Stoned? No. “, Tommy said then they all went to look at the Blunder Rangers. “These guys aren’t stoned are they?”
“Hey now. Watch what you’re saying about stoned. “, Poindexter said still drug addled. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.”
Cassie looked down at them and said “We’d better get some coffee into them.”
“Black coffee. “, T. J. agreed. as the former Zeo Rangers, the Turbo Rangers and Kim escorted the Blunder Rangers, Kelsey and Sorrero to the nearest coffee pot.
Wraith walked out of the theatre like everyone else did. Stoned. Moldar, Winston and company also followed out. “Hey look at my hand. “, Moldar said moving it around. “Woo. Woo.”
Winston was singing a Bob Dylan song that went “But I would not be here all alone. Everybody must get stoned. “, and laughter came from everyone.
“Oh that’s the most fun I’ve ever had. “, Wraith said. “Never have I felt so HIIIIGGGGGHHHHHH!” Wraith fell backwards right into Brachian’s arms. She looked up at him admiringly and asked, “Did anyone tell you that you’re cute?” Brachian was about to answer when a sensation came through him. A sensation of darkness, of evil, and of someone who was more than a little dissapointed in him and the Triad right now.
A surge of pain came from Brachian and the Triad as evil energy seemed to surge outward from them. Tendrils of dark power touched Wraith, Moldar, and Winston sending them into worlds of hurt as well.
Their howls filled the air as the effects of the weed smoke burned out of the villians. Even Wraith wasn’t immune to the pain tendrils that came from the Triad as they struck her and filled her with so much pain and energy that the drugs burned out of her system as well.
Finally the torture session was over and the villians were free of the drugs they had inhaled. Wraith immediately shrieked, “WHO DID THIS TO ME? WHO DARES TO CAUSE PAIN TO THE ALMIGHTY WRAITH?!!!”
An image swirled and formed over the villians. An image Wraith knew well, since it was that of the one who had exiled her to the Parody Dimension in the first place. Brachian and the Triad knew the image too, since it was that of the master they had served.
Destructor.
“I see you are still the biggest pain in the universes that you have always been Wraith!”, Destructor said glaring down at her. Wraith however couldn’t say anything back. Even the presence of Destructor was enough to scare someone.
“And as for you. “, Destructor glared down at Brachian and he Triad. “You are supposed to bring the Matrix and be gone from that world. HAVE YOU EVEN FOUND IT YET?!” Brachian tried to answer but Destructor had his own things to say, and everyone took notice.
“I GROW TIRED OF THIS BUFFOONERY THAT YOU HAVE ENGAGED YOUSELVES IN!!!!”, the image of Destructor said. He made it clear in his tone that he did not like the happenings in the parody dimension. Let alone the Parody Dimension itself. “NOW DESTROY THOSE RANGERS!!! GET THAT MATRIX!!! AND GET OUT OF THAT REALM!!!!” The image of Destructor then faded and Wraith stood back up smoothing out the ruffles in her dress.
“YOU HEARD THE MAN!!! FIND THEM!!!”, Wraith screamed regaining her composure. “FIND THEM!!!!!!”
“Strong the scent is. Close by they are. “, Weirdwolf said as he transformed into his wolf mode and was tracking the Cybertrons, the Cannonballers and the Matrix.
“Boy it’s a good thing Elgar’s transector wasn’t far behind. “, Jinxer said. “Against two Powermasters we could definitely use the help.”
“And with the Killjoys behind us, we won’t have any problems with those cannonballers. “, Kegler added. “Who knows? We might be able to steal a car and still win this race.”
The evil warriors cackled as it seemed like they were gaining on where their quarries lied. “Around this corner we shall go. Our enemies are here this I know. “, Weirdwolf said.
Kegler looked up at Weirdwolf and wondered Has binary bonding made Elgar smarter or has it made Weirdwolf dumber?The evil creatures went around the corner and Kegler got his question answered.
Dumber, definitely dumber!
Around the corner stood every racer in the Cannonball run along with Wreck-Gar, Slapdash and Getaway. J. J. , Victor, Jaws and Jackie stood in the front clearly showing they were ready to fight. “Now then. “, J. J. said cradling his hand as if ready to hit somebody. “Do we do this the easy way or the hard way?”
“Dan, da daaaaaa!!!”, came the reply from Victor who put on his Captain Chaos cape and mask and started to run into the Killjoys ready to fight. J. J. rolled his eyes back knowing that it was going to be done the hard way whether he liked it or not.
The rangers then caught up to where the Cybertrons and Cannonballers fought after a few minutes. Captain Chaos stood tall with his foot on Kegler’s chest, and Jackie having his foot on Jinxer’s back. Slapdash, Wreck-Gar and Getaway had Weirdwolf laid out, and Elgar disengaged from his Transector body.
“What took you so long?”, the good Captain laughed in a stereotypical superhero voice. J. J. couldn’t help but roll his eyes.
“Oh by the way, I think you’ll be looking for this. “, Getaway said as the Cybertron opened up its chest compartment and revealed the Matrix of Humor. It’s light casting out amongst all the occupants. It’s power clearly felt.
The Matrix of Humor sat in Al Snow’s living room as all eyes stood fixed on it. “This is the thing that will save the universes?”, Point Blank asked.
“That and several others like it. “, Bretta said. “Don’t know who the chosen one will be though.”
“The chosen one?”, Kat asked.
“He or she who is goofy enough to take its power. “, Poindexter said. “Someone I think I can safely say is not me.”
“Don’t worry, I think I speak for all of us. “, Bretta said with the other Blunder Rangers nearby. “Don’t worry, we’ll find out soon enough.”
Al Snow then spoke up. “I think we should all be grateful that we have managed to obtain this great object that will help save the cosmos and spread the light of goodness everywhere. “, everyone nodded at Al’s speech in agreement then Al gave a wicked smile.
“And now LET’S PARTY!!!”, Al said as everyone started to break off and have fun. The Blunder Rangers, the Turbo Rangers, former Turbo Rangers, Cannonballers, anyone that Al could invite he invited. Everyone danced and was merry. Even Monster Bretta who was showing several male dance partners the Monster Mash, much to their dismay.
Adam and Tanya found their Turbo Ranger counterparts standing off to the side and they just couldn’t resist the urge to meet themselves. “Hey you guys holding up?”, Tanya asked the Ranger girls.
Turbo Tanya smiled looking at her counterpart. “Yeah we’re cool. I guess we’ve got male stupidity to thank for that.”
Turbo Adam then spoke up. “Hey we’d do anything for you guys. Stupid or not.”
“It shows how much we care about you. “, Tommy said to Kat and Kim. Carlos looked at Ashley, Turbo Adam at Turbo Tanya and T. J. with Cassie. Justin looked on at all of them.
“I think we’re just glad to be free of those monsters. “, Kim said. Then Kat turned and looked at Justin.
“Justin, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we’re grateful for your help in freeing us from the Divettes. “, the girls all nodded then Ashley spoke up.
“But if you ever thrust your pelvis like that again before you turn 18, we will string you up by your tippy toes and play pinata is that clear?” Justin nodded in agreement.
“We’d better get going. “, Cassie said. “Who knows how much school we’ve missed as the Divettes. “, Cassie said. The Turbo’s agreed. “Who hasn’t had anything to drink?”, T. J. asked.
“I haven’t. “, Carlos said. “But why ask? I mean we only had fruit punch.”
“Yeah, but it’s from the World Wrestling Federation, so who knows what’s in it. “, Tommy said. Everyone nodded as they left Al Snow’s place. And while the Powermaster Adam and Tanya stayed behind they looked around and saw Michael Sorrero sitting off at a corner. Going over they asked how he was holding up.
“Yeah I’m okay. “, Sorrero said. “I guess the powers didn’t see the drugs as being to threatening since all I did was act weird.”
Adam found the comment interesting. “The powers would have reacted if someone tried to control you?”
“Kincaid said that the powers would not permit being used for evil purposes. Like if someone tried to put a spell on a Night Ranger, or someone tried to give you something to do their bidding. If that happened, then the powers would have reacted. But since all I did was act goofy the Night Powers weren’t threatened.”
Tanya was also interested in Sorrero’s speech. “Those must be some powers you guys have.” Sorrero smiled.
“One of the things the creators of the powers valued, or so I’m told, is free will. Keeping the ability to make your own decisions. But they also didn’t want evil to get their hands on them, which is why the creators put so many failsafes into the powers too.” Sorrero smiled just as Kelsey walked up.
“Excuse me, but don’t we have a date to get to?”, Kelsey asked the Green Night Ranger. She had her hair down and was dressed in a yellow blouse with blue jeans and black jacket. A yellow heart pendant rested on her chest, and Sorrero thought Kelsey looked beautiful no matter what she wore.
Sorrero looked back at Adam and Tanya and simply said, “Don’t wait up. “, as they made way to Sorrero’s Harley. Adam and Tanya smiled as Kelsey and Sorrero left.
The news reporter came on the screen revealing the story of the day. Apparently an outbreak of ‘Oliver syndrome’ has run rampant in the parody dimension. “This causes terminal forgetfulness for anyone who does not live in the Parody dimension and can only be triggered upon the entrance of a Tommy Oliver from any reality in existance. “, the newswoman said.
“Wow, the things you learn on T. V. “, Damon said looking at the pay T. V. in the Parody Dimension bus stop where they stopped after getting lost on their way from the Star Wars Preview. It was hard to find a news channel when most of the dimension’s broadcasting is more on the lines cartoon marathons than anything.
“And let me guess, the girl doesn’t look to bad either. “, Kai added. Damon smiled as he took a look at the blonde haired, big boobed, long legged, short skirted girl giving the news on the air. “You know I forgot to mention that.”
“Must be the case of Oliver’s syndrome running around. “, Kai said then he thought of something. “You know? Could our friends have it? It could explain why they had forgotten about us.”
Damon however wasn’t paying attention, he was too busy watching the sexy newscaster on the boob tube when the T. V. went out. Damon quickly turned to his friend and asked, “Quick you got another quarter?” Kai shook his head ‘no and said he was sorry.
Damon however bellowed “NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” as his hopes of seeing the sexy newscaster evaporated.
Kelsey and Sorrero were riding down the busy downtown street on his Harley heading towards the restaurant where they would have their date-anywhere that wasn’t a McDonalds.
“So, you see anything good?”, Sorrero asked Kelsey. “I’d look, but my eyes are on the road.”
“Well other than the ‘Burger King a few blocks back I haven’t seen anything. “, Kelsey answered. “But if push comes to shove, I guess I can live with a whopper.”
“Yeah at least they do it your way. “, Sorrero added as he continued to ride. Kelsey then caught Kai and Damon out of the side of her eye and quickly pointed them out to Sorrero.
Sorrero turned his Harley around till he and Kelsey were right alongside them. “I forgot about you guys!”, Sorrero said to the two Galaxy Rangers. “Where have you been?”
Kai went wild eyed as he looked at Sorrero and Kelsey as if they were nuts. “Where have we been? We’ve been trying to find you. We got separated at the local theatre and we all split up. We tried to find you but when we couldn’t we made tracks here.”
“And it wasn’t easy either we had to… “, Damon broke off his sentecce as he realized what Sorrero said. “What do you mean you forgot about us?”
“Hey look guys I’m sorry. “, Sorrero said. Kelsey nodded in agreement. ‘But we’ve had so much stuff go on with the freeing of the Turbo Rangers, and Kelsey and me getting stoned along with the Blunder Rangers we just forgot about you.”
“Yeah. Sorry if we made you feel like a ‘Home Alone’ kid.” Kelsey added. Kai and Damon had a hard time wrapping the concept of rangers getting stoned around their heads.
“You were stoned?”, Damon asked.
“Yeah, we took some of Gordon’s marijuanna. “, Sorrero added.
“It wasn’t Oliver’s syndrome was it?”, Damon asked. “I saw a special about it on the news today. Oh by the way, you got a quarter?” Sorrero and Kelsey shook their heads no and Damon said “DAMN!!!”, as his second chance to see the sexy newscaster evaporated. Sorrero however turned to Kai and asked, “Oliver’s syndrome?”
“It’s said to happen when a Tommy Oliver enters the Parody dimension. It causes random forgetfullness in people. “, Kai explained.
“Hey there was a Tommy here. Remember?”, Kelsey said remembering him dressing up as the Indian from the Village People. “Oh yeah. “, everyone said.
“Well he can’t help you now!”, came a familiar voice. Everyone turned to see Wraith standing in the center of the street. Her armies ready to attack.
“I AM ONLY GOING TO ASK ONE TIME, AND I EXPECT AN ANSWER!!!”WHERE IS MY MATRIX!!!!!!!“
Kelsey stood next to Sorrero and asked, “And what will happen if we don’t tell you?”
Wraith sneered. “Well then I will just have to annihilate this putrid dimension and everybody in it!” This got stares from everybody, including her own troops.
“But your highness. We live in this dimension. “, Moldar said. For a moment Wraith thought about that but then said, “IT DOESN’T MATTER IF WE LIVE IN THIS DIMENSION!!!”, as if she was doing an impression of the Rock from the WWF. The fire Destructor lit into her took her insanity to fever pitch.
Sorrero knew it was time to get serious. Looking up he saw that night had fallen which meant that he would be up to full power once he morphed. Also there were a few tricks that he picked up from cartoons that would help him confront Wraith. “Kelsey, Kai, Damon you better get back. This is not going to be for the whimsical.”
Kelsey and the two Galaxy Rangers stepped back as Sorrero brought up his coyotehead morpher ready to get dangerous.
“COYOTENIGHT!”, Sorrero called out as he activated his morpher. The Green Night Ranger stood ready for combat. The Night sky of the Parody Dimension brought his powers up to full, and just to make things interesting he invoked the cartoon law that said that this was officially now HIS cartoon.
“Anyway my favorite cartoons are Japanese Anime. “, Sorrero answered. “And I’m not talking anything cute either.” Wraith then felt a lump in her throat and her troops got ready for what could well be the fight of their lives. Sorrero brought up his daggars as he gunned the engine on his morphed Harley.
“Let’s dance!”, he said as he rode on into battle. Kelsey stood off to the side and called for help on her communicator. Kai and Damon stood with her.
The effects of the change were felt all across the dimension. The funny music turned into a dark techno orchestra, everything seemed to have a high tech edge from cars to buildings. An old cartoonish jitterbug that sputtered down the road turned into a sleek and styled roadster that ran smoothly and surely. A lot of sports cars were seen on the roadway, as well as a few scantily clad women that caused male toons to ogle at them.
And more importantly, most of the toons there had huge eyeballs.
“Wow Bugs. What big eyes you have!”, Daffy Duck said.
“The better to eat carrots with my dear. “, Bugs said after a quick costume change to grandma. “Now that that’s done I think we’d better get under. Last time the dimension went dark like this people were renovating for weeks.”
Every other goofy toon followed Bugs and Daffy’s example and went into hiding until Sorrero’s battle was over.
Back at his house Al looked around his lounge area and said, “Do you guys have the feeling something’s happened?” Then the Blunder Rangers got the call from Kelsey.
“Guys, it’s Wraith. “, Kelsey said. “Sorrero’s fighting her now.”
“We’ll be right there. “, Bretta answered. “But we’ve also got a bit of a problem too. The whole dimension seems to have gotten…. ‘darker’ all of a sudden.”
“Sorrero may have had something to do with that. “, Damon said. “He said something about Anime’ being his favorite cartoons”
The other Blunder Rangers and Al all went wide eyed with fear. “Oh no!”, Bretta said after hearing that Sorrero had gone Anime’. “We are in deep doo doo now!”
Wraith looked at Sorrero who stood on his Harley with his daggars drawn. They had curved blades with spikes on the knuckles and some areas that seemed to be more sharper than most of the knife itself. The ends of the knives had the head of a coyote on the bottom.
Moldar decided that he would be the first to attack. Reaching down for his sword he instead found a tree branch, which he REALLY DID NOT NEED! Nevertheless he tried to make due by hitting Green Night repeatedly with it.
Unfortunately Green Night used his daggers to do some pruning on Moldar’s branch, until all that was left was a simple stick that Moldar couldn’t hit squat with. “GRRRRR! I don’t need a weapon! I’ll beat you with my bare hands!!!”
“Fine, go ahead and try it. “, Sorrero challenged as Moldar attacked. He threw punches and kicks like a seasoned warrior much to his surprise. I really should go Anime’ more often., he thought. Sadly for Moldar Sorrero did not fight unarmed and he used his daggars to cut into Moldar wounding him severly.
Soon Moldar was on his knees looking up at Green Night Ranger Michael Sorrero, a mix of surprise and confusion on his face. “You’re a ranger. You’re supposed to fight fair. “, Moldar said dying.
“And you’re evil. I’m not supposed to give you a break!” Sorrero answered. He then cast a glare at Winston, Jinxer and Kegler and the three monster makers suddenly remembered they had other appointments.
“Leave this to the professionals.” Brachian said as the Triad stood ready at his side. Looking at Sorrero Brachian smiled under his helmet.
“Well, the Green Night Ranger of Earth. Do you really think you can stand against us alone?”, Brachian asked smugly. An answer to his question did come but it didn’t come from Sorrero.
“Who said he was alone?”, Kai spoke up with Kelsey and Damon taking Kai’s side. They also stood with Sorrero as he looked across the ground at Brachian and the Triad. Brachian returned the staredown by drawing his swords and Body bulked up his frame ready to crush whoever he would oppose. The remaining two members of the Triad were ready as well.
“GO GALACTIC!!!”, said Kai and Damon.
“LIGHTSPEED RESCUE!!!”, said Kelsey as all three rangers morphed then looked over their foes.
“I’ve probably had more extensive sword training than the rest of you. “, Kai said. “I’ll take Brachian.”
“I’ve got steroids for brains. “, Kelsey said glaring at Body. “Since ‘crazy’ is my middle name why not take on the craziest target?” Kelsey smiled at Sorrero who smiled underneath his helmet.
“I’ll go after ‘big brain’. “, Sorrero said staring at mind. “This’ll be fun.”
“I guess I’m all about Soul. “, Damon said looking at his opponent. “Let’s see if he has one.”
Damon looked at Soul as the gray clad villian seemed to size up the Green Galaxy Ranger. Damon always kept himself a light hearted kind of guy so there was no hatred or misery for him to use against Damon. That didn’t seem to matter to soul, who had an abundance of hatred and misery in himself.
The red ball of energy eminated from Soul’s hands and he fired it at Damon who jumped up high into the air and landed square in front of Soul. Then with a strike from his Quasar Saber cut down the villian and sent him sprawling.
Body had been hammering his hands into the ground trying to throw Kelsey off balance but everytime he tried Kelsey would then dodge the strikes body sent her way. “You know, I was having a good time on our date. “, she said before she kicked him in the unmentionables.
“But your mistress had to go and ruin it with her attack!” Yellow Lightspeed stood over Body who went back to his normal body mass and seriously thought about wearing a protective cup the next time.
Kai and Brachian had a pretty fair duel, especially since Brachian had the extra advantage with his second blade. “You seem to be a good fighter Blue Ranger. To bad I must destroy you.”
“Don’t be too sure about that. “, Kai answered. “GSA sword training is among the best in the galaxy.” Kai and Brachian continued their duel until Kai delivered a front kick to Brachian’s face sending him staggaring back. Taking advantage of this distraction Kai moved quickly to disarm Brachian and soon Brachian found the tip of Kai’s saber to his throat.
“Very well Blue Ranger. This fight is yours. “, Brachian said. “But what about your friend over there?” Brachian motioned over to where Sorrero was fighting Mind who seemed to be fighting to a standstill.
“It’s no good Night Ranger. “, Brachian called out to Sorrero. “Mind knows your moves before you do. Soon he will overwhelm you!”
Sorrero heard the remark and crossed a smile to his face underneath his helmet as an idea came to him. Mind also heard the idea and suddenly got very concerned.
Michael Sorrero looked deep within his mind looking for any piece of gibberish in his memory that he could use. Stray thoughts, weird thoughts, everything that Sorrero could think of that made him weird to most people Sorrero dug up. He cluttered his mind so completely he almost couldn’t pull himself out of the mental hole he had dug for himself.
Mind found himself bombarded by the approaching weirdness and clutched his head as if trying to say ‘NO GET IT AWAY!!! GET IT AWAY!!!’ Mind was so lost in the indescribably lunacy that was Michael Sorrero as the images bombarded him, random quotes, how he would have liked certain TV scenes to go on his favorite shows, and especially images of so many famous people kicking like the New York City Rockettes. For some strange reason Mind hated those images the most.
But Sorrero was able to climb out of his own pit of mental lunacy and call upon his Earth Primal force to open another fissure into the ground allowing Mind to fall in. Kelsey, Kai and Damon also threw in their opponents into the ground and Sorrero quickly closed the fissure.
“Don’t ever have me do what I just did again. “, Sorrero said. “I’ll be weird on my own time thank you very much.” Kelsey smiled at Sorrero’s statement unaware that the next opponent was coming forward.
“Puny Fleshling. Devour him I shall. “, Weirdwolf sneered then he transformed into his wolf mode and pounced on Sorrero who made his way to his Harley nearby and rode out of the way of Weirdwolf’s pounce. Kelsey, Kai and Damon were thrown back by the shockwave provided by Weirdwolf’s landing.
He only had a split second to do what he needed to do so he called on his zord quickly. “COYOTEZORD ROCK AND ROLL!!!”
The green and black coyote ran like lightning and went into a pounce itself as it took down Weirdwolf with it’s bigger size sending the Destron toppling over. For good measure the coyote did a swap across Weridwolf’s eyes temporarily blinding him. This move allowed Green Night to get onboard his zord and make it a more fair fight.
“You want to keep this up?”, Sorrero asked. Weirdwolf transformed back into warrior mode and then brought up his weapon and started firing wherever he could get in a shot. “Stay still so blast you I can.”
The Coyotezord dodged every shot aimed at it and then made ready for one final pounce. That pounce took the Destron down and caused it’s head to disengage and transform back into the nitwit Elgar who ran as far and fast as he could. Sorrero however had other ideas.
Calling on his power of Earth again Sorrero had the ground split open again right where Elgar was running. Elgar fell right into the chasm caused by Sorrero’s Night Powers and then resealed itself as quickly as it opened. “Anyone else?”, Sorrero asked. Wraith smiled and pointed behind him.
“MALES!!!!”, Monster Bretta said making ready a surprise attack. Sorrero quickly turned around and drew his blaster. Squeezing off a shot a laser blast went through Monster Bretta’s shoulder sending her down and holding it in pain.
Wraith stood applauding at the quickness Sorrero showed in taking out Monster Bretta. Sorrero however wasn’t impressed as he pointed at Wraith and said, “It’s you and me now. There’s no one for you to send anymore.”
“Oh I don’t know. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. “, Wraith said snapping her fingers, and turning herself into a mouse again by accident. “Awww darn it!”, she said. But then she found another problem to deal with.
Tom and Sylvester the cats had suddenly appeared behind her and immediately began the chase again. Wraith ran here… there… everywhere until a giant robotic foot slammed hard down on the ground cutting the cats off from their quarry. They were aware of how bloody anime was and didn’t want to take the risk of what would happen if they couldn’t bounce back like usual. So both Tom and Sylvester ran backwards leaving Wraith alone.
Wraith however looked up to see Wreck-Gar, Slapdash and Getaway standing over her like monsters. The Blunder Rangers stood as well not looking as menacing as the Cybertrons did, but were scary nonetheless.
Wreck-Gar took in the darkness that was everywhere and then looked down at the mouse sized Wraith. He knew that Sorrero taking the dimension to Anime’ might have been necessary in stopping her, but he still couldn’t help but feel sadness for the joy that had been lost and that the dimension might never regain…. unless of course they did some heavy renovating. He knew exactly what to say to Wraith and let her have it.
“You are the Weakest Link… goodbye!!!”
Wraith’s mouth went wide as Sorrero activated his Primal Force of Earth and opened the ground up for her. Wraith fell into the deep chasm screaming “I’LL BE BAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!”, before it closed again.
Wreck-Gar and Sorrero then turned to the rest of the Rangers and their friends. “I think it’s time for us to get back to the fight. There are people still waiting for the Matrix to get there. “, Slapdash said. Getaway nodded holding up the object as it glowed a radiant blue light.
Soon all the Blunder Rangers, including Sorrero, Kai, Damon, Kelsey, Slapdash/Adam and Getaway/Tanya were standing by Al Snow’s house saying their goodbyes.
“Take care Mr. Snow. “, Kai said. “If you’re ever near Terra Venture I’ll try to catch one of your matches. No matter what Mick Foley says.”
Al got all teary eyed. “You’d do that for me?”, he said between sobs.
Kai smiled but mentally added, What chance is there of Al Snow getting to Mirinoi anyway. Sadly for Kai Al gave him the answer.
“I’m so glad you said that. Because I’m going to be at the Venture Civic Center on the 23 of the third new month.” Al then hugged Kai and said. “I’m going to have a box seat reserved just for you!” Kai looked pleadingly at Damon who did nothing but smirk.
Sorrero went over to where the Blunder Rangers stood as they looked over at the darkness of the Parody Dimension. Not the darkness they could see, but the darkness that they felt when Sorrero went Anime’
“I’m sorry guys. I didn’t know what else to do. “, the Green Night Ranger commented. Bretta turned to look at Sorrero and kept an icy stare on him.
“This dimension has been touched by darkness before, so it wasn’t the first time this happened. But every time the dark side of the Parody Dimension comes out it’s always a pain to rebuild the humorous parts of it again.” Bretta then locked eyes with Sorrero and said her next line straight out.
“We shall endure and rebuild. But I think it’ll be a while before you can show your face around here again.
“And the same goes for Night Rangers as well. “, Greenie said. “We can’t have any dark influences here now.” Sorrero nodded. The Blunder Rangers then turned to see where Wreck-Gar was standing as they looked out at the darkened landscape at the happy funny toons coming out to rebuild their happy fun land again and purge it from the darkness of night.
“Mission complete. “, Wreck-Gar said quoting Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing. All the Blunder Rangers nodded but Prancer turned to look at Sorrero who had a faraway look in his eyes. Prancer decided to go over to him and try to cheer him up.
“I’mlikesooooosorryforBretta, Ilikeknowyouonlydid whatyoulikehadtodobuthappinessandfunareimportanttraits here. Iknowyoufitinprettywellherebutyourpowerislike soooooooooooooodarkyaknow?Itscaresalotofpeople. “, Sorrero turned to look at Prancer and said his peace.
“That’s the general idea, to make people afraid. For evil to think twice about the path it takes And we sure do that don’t we?”, Sorrero chuckled sarcastically at the last sentence before continuing.
“I’ve prided myself on being… off-center, funny, in short a nutcase. “, Sorrero looked out at the landscape and could feel the darkness in it. “If people told me that they were afraid of me, I would have thought of it as a joke. I guess the joke was on everyone here huh?”
“And you in a way. “, Poindexter said with Kelsey by his side. “You seem like a fun guy Michael Sorrero. But you’re too touched by darkness to really fit in here.”
“What about Wraith?”, Kelsey asked. “Isn’t she touched by darkness too?”
“Wraith’s darkness fits in to the natural order of things here. Yours doesn’t. “, Greenie said. “I’m sorry.” Sorrero nodded saying that he understood.
“We like you but we don’t want to live in fear. We want to live in joy. “, Prancer said slowly. For the first time the Blunder Rangers were deadly serious.
“If we have our way, you’ll never see us again. Or any other Night Ranger for that matter. “, Sorrero said. “But if someone comes with a darkness that ‘doesn’t fit’ don’t expect us to turn away.”
Bretta shook Sorrero’s hand and said, “Fair enough.” Sorrero felt his hand squishing under Bretta’s incredible pressure.
Slapdash and Getaway stood with Wreck-Gar as they finished saying goodbye to the Cannonballers. “Is everyone ready to go?”, Slapdash asked turning to everyone on the Matrix team. Everyone on the team nodded.
“Let’s get going then. “, Slapdash said as he, Getaway and Wreck-Gar transformed to vehicle modes and Sorrero mounted up on his Harley while Kai and Damon hitched rides with Slapdash and Getaway. Kelsey got on Wreck-Gar and the Blunder Rangers miraculously found their Blundermobile parked close by. Soon everyone had a ride and they soon left the Parody Dimension behind.
It took a lot of concentration, and a lot of help from her underlings to get Moldar into one of the ‘whimsey zones’ that wasn’t touched by Sorrero’s transformation of the Parody Dimension to Anime’. In this zone the natural order could apply again and Moldar could bounce back good as new, provided he didn’t die.
Which fortunately didn’t happen for six minutes. One thing about Anime was that even though a lot of the time it came out bloody and violent it did seem to follow a set of rules based on normal reality. One of those rules was that the brain had six minutes to register when the body was dead before it shut down completely. So that was the amount of time Wraith had before Moldar died completely.
Fortunately for Moldar Wraith found such a zone belonging the the dark lord Darph Nader from the Hardware wars. It was here that Moldar could bounce back and Wraith could try to change herself back from being a mouse again. It took forever but she managed to pull it off. Moldar also was good as new as well.
“Thank you Lord Nader. “, Moldar said in appreciation. Nader spoke in some unprenouncable sounds that no one could make out(which if you saw the movie Hardware Wars was one of the running gags. ) “My queen what is he saying?”
Wraith just shrugged and went back to her palace. Weirdwolf, Brachian, Jinxer, Kegler and the Triad made their way out of the ground and left a note saying that they were heading back to their master Destructor and to take care(Elgar’s concern for Wraith’s welfare). Wraith read the note when she found her way home. After several wrong turns.
She thought about her defeat to Michael Sorrero, and how he disturbed the natural order of things calling upon his Night Powers
Wraith walked over to a crate that seemed to shake around. It had words on the sides saying ‘Danger’, ‘keep away’, and ‘I wouldn’t touch this if I were you!’. Wraith smiled as she thought of the evil inside the crate, and what doom it would spell for the Green Night Ranger someday. I’m sure Greenie would love to see an old friend., she thought with sadistic glee.
Michael Sorrero, one day you shall truly feel the Wrath of Wraith. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Destructor looked at the troops that had returned from the Parody dimension. He showed no signs of hiding his dissapointment in them, but he did try to hold back his outrage. “You go into a world to bring one thing back. Yet you fail by being sent into the Earth by a Night Ranger, and getting beaten by a bunch of fools and idiots. NOW WHAT TO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!!!”
The data recorder in Weirdwolf suddenly activated and the same song by Queen that was used to interrogate them was played out for Destructor. The Flash Gordon beat grew louder and louder until the time to sing began.
“FLASH!!!*BOOOM*AHHAHHHH!”, Weirdwolf, Kegler, Brachian and Jinxer sang. “SAVIOR OF THE…”
A blast of energy shot out of Destructor destroyed Weirdwolf’s data recorder. “I’VE HEARD ENOUGH!!! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I REALLY LOSE MY TEMPER AND DESTROY YOU ALL!!!!!!” Soon every order member that was in the Parody Dimension ran out of Destructor’s main hall leaving the Order Master seething.
I knew it was a risk sending them there. That place should have been annihilated long ago!, he thought. But if it’s any consolation, I suppose I have the Night Rangers for making it seem less…. . nausiating this time.
The last thought brought a smile to his face as he turned his mind’s eye towards where the entry point to the Parody Dimension was. He noticed a crew of cartoonish characters putting up a sign saying ‘CLOSED FOR REMODELING’ knowing that the whole dimension would have to undergo massive changes due to its exposure to the Night Powers. The more Destructor saw the powers used the more he was impressed by them.
I hope Biilly and the scientists can figure out how to put the information on them to use. Those powers would benefit the order greatly., Destructor then turned away and walked down the hall to where the training room was. One of the reasons he had not gone off with his team was because he wanted to make sure everything was going smoothly with the Order’s operations involving the Matrixes. Another was the use of the Devil’s eye to bring more evil into the Matrix of Evil. From a distance Destructor added the evil of Wraith and her servants to its growing power.
But there was another reason he had stayed behind briefly, as he looked on at his newest warrior whom he had liberated from his own home reality. I was quite fortunate to find her. Even when her sister had died brefly before being ressurected.
Destructor looked at the young woman sparring with several putties, and cleaning the clocks on each and every one of them. Moves executed with lethal precision sending enemies down for the count. Soon there were none left, and all that stood was the brown haired beauty ready to kill at her liberator’s command.
“You have come a long way my young warrior. “, Destructor said applauding the girl for her lethal demonstration. “It seemed like only yesterday that I had my warriors liberate you from that endless string of brothels and whorehouses that you called home.”
“And joined your service master. “, the girl had said. Her gaze steady and stern. She had lived a life of abuse due to the neglect from her parents at birth. Sold into prostitution where she had endured an endless string of Johns, Janes and abuse that shaped her personality today.
Destructor looked at the girl and was reminded of the observations of her counterpart and her lifestyle. The girl before her was more abused than that of her counterpart, but Destructor knew the evil potential in her and others like her. He knew he had to have one for himself.
“You know your sister has been resurrected. “, Destructor said. “Does that bother you?”
The girl only smiled. “I was hoping she would come back. There’s SO much I want to say to her!” With that she threw her practice spear at a nearby target in the training room. This target had the picture of Ashley Hammond on it.
“Patience my dear Alison. “, Destructor said soothingly. “Soon you shall have your revenge.”
In the corridors of Cybertron, an evil creature that knows no reason wanders the underbelly of the planet making his way to the spaceports. He searches for a way to escape. He searches for a way to rejoin those he commanded.
And he seeks a way to get revenge on those who had abandoned him. One day he will achieve his goal.
I am Galvatron! No one abandons me like this! I shall have my revenge!
May all realities have mercy on us.
END OF PART 6
Additional note: In the last part of I. D. War I made a notation of the fic being in memory of Robert Lyon and Pam Marks aka Traci Spagler. Unfortunately the memorium for Rob was correct, and I still mourn his passing.
But for Traci, well to quote Mark Twain ‘The reports of her death have been greatly exaggerated. Welcome back Traci.